Advice For Twin Flame Chaser

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Someone posted the link to this on Facebook just now and I thought I would share it here. I’m sure many of you will identify with the “chaser” as I did. I found this to be helpful in putting it in perspective. Enjoy!

Advice For Twin Flame Chaser
by RICHEE on JULY 10, 2012

http://www.twinflamesigns.com/twin-flame-relationships-2/advice-for-twin-flame-chaser

Twin Flame Chaser

Becoming the Chaser is not something that this partner intentionally does… It happens naturally… The inner ‘knowing’ and awareness of the twinflame connection is what drives the Chaser.

Women are usually more emotionally sensitive than men… That’s what often makes the woman in the twinflame relationship understand the true nature of it before the man does.

Men are also conditioned (since the caveman era, when they had to hunt for survival) to hide their emotions and feelings… that makes them suppress the inner ‘knowingness’, consciously or subconsciously, with or without their own knowledge…

For this reason, The Twin Flame Chaser is usually the woman.
[That does not mean that a man can not be in this position, It ultimately depends on the life plan.]

To make things simpler to understand, we’ll assume that the Chaser is the woman.

Being highly sensitive, The Chaser can ‘feel’ the depth of this relationship and knows that it is somehow special… This feeling is there even if she doesn’t consciously know what it is all about…
Now, When the other Twin flames suddenly tried to escape or run away,
Two things happen to the Chaser.

One – She is deeply hurt and afraid of losing her partner.

The intensity and the depth of love that she feels for the twinflame is more than anything else that she has probably ever felt. When the Runner just runs away without even a warning, she gets a huge emotional shock… much more than she can handle.
This makes her act ‘crazy’ sometimes. She will, at this point, do almost anything to get the Runner back…

The emotional pain of the Chaser is intensified even more by the memories or residue of the many previous lives in which she had lost him.
All the pain and suffering from all of those lives is stirred up and comes back to the surface when the Runner runs away…

Two – She knows there is some deeper meaning to this relationship and feels that the two of them ‘Should be together’ to make things alright.

She has a feeling deep inside that everything will be okay… they should just be together (which is true).
She might not be explain this to the Runner or to anyone else but strongly feels it.

And because of these reasons,
She tries to ‘Chase’ the Runner.
To get him back, no matter how.

The Chaser herself might be very confused at this stage, she might not even be able to understand whats happening to her,
all she knows is that she cant afford to lose the Runner, no matter what.

The Chasing, however, only pushes the Runner further away.
Then comes a point when she shatters completely (emotionally).
The pain of having the runner run can be literally mind numbing.

Now That’s where God’s magic begins…
She tries to look up information just to find out what was it that is happening to her. It is not just a normal relationship, she knows that for sure.
And that’s when the Spiritual reality reveals itself to her.
That’s when she understands the sacredness of this relationship…
and all of this ultimately leads to her Enlightenment.

Then comes the Waiting time. That is when the ‘Chaser’ is enlightened and the Runner is still running…
This can again be a very hard time for the Chaser.

Ultimately, once the phase is over, the runner does return, and that’s when the Grand Reunion happens

Advice For Twin Flame Chaser

If you’ve read about ‘The Chaser’ and figured that its you, here is some advice…

Know that your partner WILL Return…
With all that you are going through, knowing that the runner will return is enough to ease half the pain.
Twinflames are ever connected by the eternal sacred bond that never breaks.
They are literally created to be with each other. Nothing can take them away from each other.

Understand that your partner will come back once they are ready for the intensity of this relationship.

Let them take their time, pushing or chasing is not of much use.

Avoid ‘Chasing’ him/her
The runner runs because they are afraid of the intensity of the relationship at some level.
Chasing him/her at this point only makes them run more.
Give them some time, and know that they will come when they are ready.

Know that the universe in helping you
Being in the ‘Chaser’ position can be hard. You might feel lonely and helpless. DONT.

The universe plays its magic in bringing twinflames together.
Know that you are supported by all divine beings in someway… whether you know it or not.
Doing too much at a human level is not required to get your twinflame back… just remain calm and you’ll see that everything takes care of itself (it might take some time, but trust me it will happen… just be patient)

Believe In Yourself
During this phase, there is often a lot of confusion.
Your mind does not agree with what your hear tells you… And If you try sharing it with someone else they will probably tell you you’ve simply ‘lost it’… These people usually are not aware of this deep spiritual reality and give you ‘practical’ advice which doesn’t work for a twinflame relationship…

Understand that what is happening to you is not unusual… and you are perfectly all right.
Just Believe in yourself and follow your heart… and everything will be okay :)

Understand spirituality
The more you understand the spiritual reality, the more sense everything will start to make.
The relationship between Twinflames is basically spiritual… You’ll understand whats going on in the relationship the more you explore spirituality… This is not something that is necessary… but I believe it helps allot.

And If you’re comfortable with it, use the Violet Flame to balance your karma… this (or any other meditation) also helps calm the mind which is required during this confusing and difficult phase.

(Reference: theeternalbliss.wordpress.com)

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66 thoughts on “Advice For Twin Flame Chaser

  1. Hello
    I am the Chaser. I am glad to finally know. I have been terrified of losing him. He has never run completely away. He as put much space between us..but everytime I have nearly given up` , he would contact me. I decided to stop chasing him many times now….and decided it had to be now. Then I found this.
    Amazing……it is unconditional love…..and so frightening too.

    Thank you…..S

    • hello it would be good to talk to you my name is shum Im in a twin flame relationship with a punjabi guy and understand the complete pain, last night I felt that I was dying and I have become so religious as well. I would like to befriend other twin flames who are going through similar experiences as my friends and family think i am crazy and don’t understand. My other half has run for 6 months now as refuses to answer calls or texts, it feels like I’ve lost a limb everytime I try to forget him, i dream of him or see his name every where, i can also feel this man. I am at the stage where I pray and meditate every day to carry on with my life as it feels like he has died but I know he is alive in my heart.

      • Hi Shumi,am going through the same thing .I meditate and pray for him ,am confused as can be and also fed up .And to top it up am married n have a family.
        I have reached a point that I haven’t spoken to him in 6months as he doesnot take my calls.Haven’t seen him in 8 months.But still very much unconditional love.

      • I’m in a twin flame encounter with woman who said that she was attracted to me the first time she saw me one working day this year. And I fell in love with her eventually. Our relationship is entering its fifth month, and truth is I am damn scared of the intensity of the connection.

        I thought I was prepared for meeting my twin, because in 2011, I had a one-year odyssey with a karmic mate who I mistook as my twin. In 2011, I felt a very intense attraction toward his lady named Maria, and while we never became lovers, our romantic friendship saw me guiding her to make the right decisions in life. But the intense pull of love toward Maria was undeniable and after doing so much research over the internet, I found out that she might be my twin flame or karma soul mate. But when I decided to walk out of the odyssey one night in December 2011 (with a messy argument with her to boot), the psychic ties I felt with her suddenly disappeared. And I thanked God that my life would be “normal” again. So I thought.

        But I read from one twin soul expert (I forgot his name) that meeting one’s twin flame is sometimes preceded with a meeting with a karmic soul mate. I shuddered at that thought, for I knew at that time that I was NOT ready to meet my twin flame.

        Well, it looked like I was entitled to only two more years of a “normal” life after my karma mate encounter in 2011. And so here I am struggling literally over the intensity of the connection with my twin flame. Three words sum up the experience so far: blissful, fascinating and terrifying.

        Yup, I am still terrified at the thought that I met the other half of my soul, and terrified that attraction is so intense that it makes me want to run. And I actually run from her for eight weeks after I first met her. Never worked. Two months ago, I emailed her saying I was giving up the relationship. I thought I was “free” until one afternoon while I was working, a terrible sense of grief stabbed my heart and I felt a strong “reconnection” with her again. I thought she cried hard upon reading my email and her grief bounced back to me. It was a terrifying experience.

        What’s keeping me to stick to the journey with my twin flame now (instead of running) is my having much knowledge about the connection from my karma mate experience in 2011 and my readings on the subject. Otherwise, I would have run like many males who are caught flat-footed by the intense connection because they don’t have a clue what’s happening.

        Anyway, the bliss I share with my twin flame is truly wonderful and it’s the best natural high that a human being can experience. So why run?

      • wow all you said it so true and so beautiful and powerfull.. Im neaer my reunoin its very close but my runner can not conect with me untill this last step of mine is conplete. The divorce is final. Thats gods law to. But its so hard for he will come to me as he has in the last 20 yrs and be around me but then becomes afraid and runs for he also knows we can not reunite yet. I know there is a reason for my delay for i am helping some one who has almost given up in there life. I knew this person over 38 yrs ago. He asked god for help and to show him a way. God did within 1 week of him asking I was in his life an haved helped him turn it around 100 % even his drs and family have asked him what have u been doing you have changed an are doing do much better. So Yes I do believe God has made this delay for me to help this other friends and it has also helped me in my Healing during the divorce. But i do still crave for my twin every mounment of every day an he does me for i get signs from him my twin to know hes thinking of me. Hope everyone has a wonderfull day today with Love, and Joy and a visit with your twin.

      • hi sebamm, would you like to leave your email if we can support each other, my story is really fascinating with my TF. I’m writing a book about him as he has touched my heart so much.

      • Met my TF 20 years ago. Manage to recontact her back 2 years ago. She is visually handicapped now. She hasn’t been answering my calls nor replying my text for more then a year.
        Hope she will come back to me soon.

  2. In my relationship, I am the chaser, and I am the guy. So I thought I might add my own 2 cents worth to help others going through the emotional roller coaster of chasing after their twin runner. The one thing that I’ve noticed, from reading everybodys experiences on the internet, is that it seems the chaser is more enlightened as to what is going on than the runner is. Probably why the runner runs I’m thinking. So the first thing to do is not tell them you believe they are your twin flame, and spill your guts about the whole thing to them. They will panic if they are not ready for it. Play it cool. As the chaser, you know what’s going on, but the runner does not. Think of your runner as a wild squirrel, and you are a human offering it a nut. Now the squirrel knows what the nut is. It wants the nut, but it is so blinded by it’s fear that it ignores the nut and runs for it’s life. You chasing after the squirrel with nut extended isn’t going to do anything but make the squirrel run even faster. Remember, play it cool. Offer what you have, but offer it non-threateningly. If they recoil, don’t move. If you chase, they will run. What you need to do is slowly strip away the fear that they have. You need to slowly get them use to what is happening. This is going to take a lot of will power on your part, because you are not going to want to wait, but you have to. Give it to them in small doses, and when they get used to that, slowly give them a little more and eventually, you will have them on board. I’ve been doing this for mu runner, and she is slowly coming around. I hope this bit of advice helps.

    • What you say is good advice Derrick. I guess for me it’s after the fact. When I first met H in Barbados, the things we shared had me confused because I had never heard of anything like this before. So I did some research on soul mates because I didn’t know what else this could be. However the articles I read on soul mates didn’t really answer my questions until one article I came across on soul mates also mentioned “Twin Flames”. I had never heard the term before so I researched and read everything I could find on that. The more I read the more convinced I was that this is what we had stumbled upon and so I sent him all that I was finding and told him to read it and asked if he agreed that this was what we had found. He read what I sent and he agreed with me. I didn’t even think to keep it from him. I was too excited by what I was reading.

      Later when I had joined a Yahoo Twin Flame group, I learned that the people on the forum knew they had found their TF but the TF had no clue. It hadn’t even occurred to me to not tell him! Then when he walked away I was devastated because I couldn’t understand how he could walk away from what we had and so yes I chased him. I wrote many e-mails to him explaining the importance of our relationship but to no avail. He did come back some months later and just when it seemed good, he was gone again. In the meantime, every thing new I found on TF’s I sent him to read. Again it didn’t occur to me that I was doing more harm than good. I thought if he realized what our relationship was all about he would stop running, but in fact I think it had the opposite effect.

      We have been at this for 6 years now. He walked again a little over 8 months ago. I wrote him from time to time for the first 5 months, tried to reach out but to no avail and so then I stopped trying to contact him, and I made my peace with it, that he was gone and probably for good. I vowed that I would not be the one to break this silence this time around and as Christmas drew closer I wondered if he would make contact because it seems we come together around the holidays. But I wasn’t going to be the one to initiate it this time. Sure enough, at 3:30 a.m. Christmas morning he sent me a text message wishing me a Merry Christmas and we have been communicating again ever since. It’s sporadic, a day or two might go by without any word from him. I am not going to lie, it’s hard and I get upset. He doesn’t know that because I’m not telling him what I am feeling. All he gets from me now is a reply when he contacts me. I am afraid to give myself completely to this relationship because it’s too hard when he leaves.

      I don’t care who says what about this being about the service and not about being with your TF, I have read and heard everything. None of it makes one iota of difference when he leaves. The pain I feel is almost more than I can bear on a good day. I’m not chasing him, I’m not trying to make him stay. I have been told I’m codependent, I have been told he’s not my TF, that the man who passed in 2010, Rob, is. I have been told that H is an energy vampire and that he’s basically sucking the life out of me. I have walked away myself. I have blocked him from contacting me. I have tried everything in my power to forget him and put it behind me and yet here I am again.

      Ours is a long distance relationship that is mostly online or on the phone. We have never met physically for one reason or another and the distance is great as I live in Newfoundland, Canada, and he is in Barbados. He’s also married with young kids, a girl 15 and a boy of 9. He says the marriage is over, and I would agree as he was on every dating site known to man. Not anymore. But he told me he stays for the kids. Then the other day he said he has his passport and is saving up to come visit me. So I guess we will see about that.

      If I could find a man who I could care about enough to get over H, I would be all over that. Even with trying to put my focus on Rob it doesn’t work. This is the hardest thing I have ever done bar none. I put myself on a dating site again last night because at least I can find someone to chat with and if it was to turn out to be more, than all the better. It just seems that nothing works with anyone else. So what do you do, I have no idea. I can tell you that there are times when I wish I had never met him, there are times when I wish I had never heard of TF’s. If I could go back and forget all of this I would. But as they say, you can’t un-know what you know. To say I love him would be an understatement. He tells me he loves me, that life without me is unbearable and unbalanced, his words. But that doesn’t help when he’s away.

      As you can tell this isn’t a good day for me. I appreciate your giving the male perspective and what you have learned. Perhaps it will help the readers of this blog. Thank you Derrick. Love and light to you.

      Carolyn

    • Thank your for your advice… I once made a great friend from a squirrel and “yes” it was a slow process in the making…I will remember this when we meet again….and to think I was going to inform him of just who he was to me…Wow, what a mistake that would have turned out to be….any ideas on how I should start the conversation on the topic? How will i know he is ready and his issues are resolved? I won’t date him if he is still with someone else…that will tell me he is not ready….I guess? I won’t put myself or him in a place of pain…I would prefer to love from afar if that is the case. It is very sad to think that time is not on our side and that we may join in another lifetime….It seems so unfair to have been shown your earthly prize, only for it to vanish….
      then again, what a blessing that you were chosen to witness the possibilities, and the great love GOD has designed especially for you.
      Jennifer

    • Unfortunately, this doesn’t work for all of us. The only way you can “slowly offer what you have” is if the runner chooses to maintain some kind of contact with you, even if it’s just minimal. If your runner is gone and has refused any attempt you made to communicate with them, then there really isn’t anything you can do but somehow learn to live with the pain and emptiness. That is my situation. I haven’t heard a word from my runner in years and it hurts like hell. I honestly wish I had either never met my twin flame or that I was the runner. It seems to me that the runners just go on living their lives without a care in the world. They fall in love with others, marry other people, etc. They live happy lives and don’t really care or even think about the pain they cause. They certainly don’t seem to be experiencing the kind of pain and emptiness that many of us chasers feel. Sometimes I feels as if I’m being punished for being the “enlightened” one.

      • I understand why you feel the way you do and know nothing works for every Twin Flame situation. I have also wished I had never met him but then I wouldn’t be on the spiritual path I am on now. So it’s a catch 22 for sure. I think we need to learn to let them figure things out for themselves for as long as that takes but that does NOT mean that we sit and wait for them to come back. It is imperative that we the chasers also move forward with our own lives. If we met someone to have a relationship with then we should do that. Not all Twins are going to reunite on this plane of existence. However if we can connect with them on higher levels then there is a chance that we can then bring that connection back down to this reality. Mel of goldraytwinflames has put up a video on their Youtube channel about this, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0HWT1QfH8c Feel free to post here anytime you like as there are others here who will respond to your posts besides me. None of us know what the future holds and remember what we do for ourselves we also do for them. Take care, and much love and light to you.

      • Yes, I understand that chasers should pursue other relationships if they want to. However, that is not what I want. I feel that being in another relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship is damaging to both the chaser and the new person. Not being in another relationship doesn’t mean you’re just standing still in life or not moving forward. I have other areas in my life that I pursue, but I have no interest in being in a romantic relationship with anyone else. I realize that may not be the right path for everyone, but I can only do what feels right for me. I’ve tried to date other people, and it simply felt forced and unnatural. Some people don’t easily drift from relationship to relationship.

      • I certainly didn’t mean to imply that you should do anything other than what feels right to your own soul. Neither did I imply that I can drift easily from relationship to relationship because I can’t either. Although I have tried to find someone who I could love as much as him but it never works out. So yes everyone has their own path to follow but I do know of some that say they have met their Twin Flame but know on a deep level that they are not meant to reunite in this lifetime and so have gone on to find a soul mate and even get married. I understand that being true to one’s Twin does not mean you are not moving forward. I have moved forward in my own life in many ways. I learned how to make jewelry, I took an angel card reading course with Doreen Virtue, I have been making greeting cards, all things I never did before meeting my own Twin. So I do understand what you are saying.

    • Thank you so much for this post. I am currently the chaser in my Twin Flame relationship. I’ve been in this relationship with him for 4 years and I’ve chased him for a big chunk of that time. I started doing research on line, quite some time ago and just found out about Twin Flames about a month ago and it certainly led to spiritual enlightenment for me, almost instantly as I was reading it. Realizing that he and I are twin flames has brought me so much peace, happiness and way more patience than I’ve had since I’ve known him. My new found spirituality has actually strengthened our relationship and he has been coming around a lot more since. He is a very spiritual person too so that helps me to think that he should hopefully come around sooner than later. Anyway, my point was that your post and other people’s posts on here helps me greatly. Unless you are going through a twin flame experience, it would be very difficult to understand it all. Before I met this man I had no idea what a twin flame was or that I could feel this strongly for another human being.

  3. I am a chaser I could not understand what has been going on in my life for the last 20yrs. I went to a phic in oct. who read my palm and told me my twin flame would finally seek me out in 5 months. I was confused more. at the time i could not find out what she meant . I could not find anything on this. Then last week a horoscope repeated that and drovre me crazy. He did contact me as she said he would a week before my birthday. we only chatted 3 x the entire week. the day before my birthday i had two very strong premonitions he would defriend me. One my birthday he wrote twice wishing a great day. that night in my dream i was looking at my wedding dresses, planning what I wanted my invite to say about connecting and marring my twin flame then we had a very loving anf touching embrace and kiss, at 3am I woke crying like a baby tears in my eyes. I went on fb and yes i was defriended. so you know everytime he has a thought, a feeling or talks about me i feel that also. sometimes its in pain some times its a numb feeling always in my left hand. on this morning that woke me up as it does many times each time. as I check my fb he defriendede me at 258am. ow once again I wait. I am very hear broken and have been for a very long time waiting for his return and i go crazy, my best gfriend tells me this to. untill i let her read about twin flsames now she understands it more. my only question he is free, i am married have been for 37yrs but left him, then went back due to childrens behavior toward me. but there is no relation ship with my husband i am a roommate in a home we share… so whats happens now with people who find there twin flame but are married to do they finally get to be togehter?? my children are 36 and 34 not children

    • This whole Twin Flame relationship is a learning process to be sure. Not all Twin Flames who meet in the physical will be reunited, it’s a fact. However that does not mean the connection isn’t there or that it can be broken. The Twin Flame relationship isn’t meant to break up families or marriages but if yours was already over then I don’t think I would let the “children” who are no long children tell you what to do. If I might recommend a book for you to read, try Enchanted Love by Marianne Williamson. She gives a lot of very good advice in that book. One bit of advice she gives in that book is that you will not let anything stand in the way of true love. My “Twin” H in Barbados, and I put Twin in quotation marks because I am still trying to figure out that relationship for myself, is married and his kids are 10 and 15 years of age. He tells me when the kids are older he will be free to leave. So what do I do in the meantime while he’s romancing other women online? Do I put my life on hold to wait for him to wake up and grow up? I don’t think so, Twin or not, I deserve to be treated better than he’s been treating me of late. He came back into my life on Christmas morning after 8 months of no word. I stopped writing him 3 months before he came back. Perhaps that is why he did. Usually he leaves and I write begging him to come back. However this time I gave up chasing him. I get tired of the games and the abuse because abuse it is when someone tells you that you are their world and then walks away or goes days with no contact still while I know he’s chatting up someone else. So he’s keeping me on the back burner so to speak for when he gets around to it. Sorry but I am not putting my life on hold for that. I hope you figure it out for yourself but there is no guarantee that you will be reunited in this life time. Good Luck!

      • You are right their is no guarantee that we will reunite in this lifetime, and it seems like a whole lot of grief….My TF and I have no contact, and I was the classic chaser. I did my homework to all that I was feeling and he has gone on with his life prob. unaware to who he has met(me). If we meet again, I won’t go through what you did…If he does not feel the magic, then I will give up hope and do all in my power to forget him…send him love and then move on. Sad that most of the stories read are of the uniting of TF not working out….It is not comforting!!

      • I haven’t read much about the Twin Flame relationship that is comforting to be honest. Most of it talks about that relationship having nothing to do with the two people involved and its all being about service to humanity. I have one question though, if we are all so all consumed about our Twins, how is that helping humanity?? Personally I have given up because I no longer know for sure who my Twin is. I read a post on Facebook the other day that said we shouldn’t be so concerned with labels and find someone who we love who also loves us and forget if it’s a Twin Flame or a soul mate. The purpose is to be happy because in being happy we help lift the vibrations on this planet. If we are feeling sad and dejected because our “Twin” has forsaken us, again what purpose is that serving us or humanity! So I’m with you, if the other person isn’t feeling the magic, I think it’s time to move on and find someone who can better show us love and companionship and respect. Take care.

    • Butterfly!!! Wow! I had same thing happen. I dreamed he left without saying goodbye and woke up crying. And to find him gone. His acct completely closed. I’m in same situation and I’m drowning in pain

  4. I have been at this with my soul connection for nearly 30 years……. It has only been the last few years that i have discovered what is happening between us…..

    What a ride this thing is…….. What tremendous love it causes to bubble up out of me…. It is the stuff of legends….. Its every true love story you have ever read….. Its the “Real Deal.” Pleasure and Pain…. Yin/Yang….

  5. I am the chaser. My twin flame and I are both women. I’ve known her for 10 years. We knew immediately that we had a very strong bond. We were in a relationship for 2 years. It was beautiful, and then it ended in a very painful and confusing way. The runner ran like crazy. She went through a few other relationships, and is now married to someone else. I think I always held out hope that she really would come back until she actually married someone. When I found out about that, I literally became physically ill. It was like a part of me died. That was 4 years ago. We haven’t had any contact at all since then. I have no idea if she even thinks about me, but not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. We’ve been apart now for almost 8 years. This article says that your twin flame will come back to you even though it may take some time. But what if they really have moved on, as in married someone else and pretend you don’t even exist, and you have zero contact with the person. Is it still possible that they will come back to you even after all of that? It’s so hard to maintain hope in that situation.

  6. I would say don’t wait for the runner and just get on with your own lives. Seriously be open to meet other people who are a lot more balanced as waiting around can last a life time. Why should you have to feel drained by runners who are not spiritually aware. They have their own issues to work on but in the mean time work on your self and seek happiness for your own. I have a strange soul connection to a guy who has displayed all the signs of running but now 4 years on I’m done. I don’t dislike him or anything it’s just that I rather choose to be with people who are more spiritually aware. Maybe I was a catalyst for him to start him off on his spiritual journey but that’s where my work is done he’ll have to figure out the rest for him self as we all do. Love and light peeps.

  7. Every so often I have to log onto a site like this just to remember that I am not crazy, pathetic, etc. In general I am a very centered person and I have had a strong spiritual practice for over twenty years, but this TF thing has blown me to smithereens. At the same time, I acknowledge that my life has improved in virtually every way since meeting my TF 3 1/2 years ago.

    Yes, I’ve been the Chaser, pretty much all along. My TF doesn’t even admit there is such at thing as TFs, or says, “Well, if there are TFs, I can TF with multiple people.” I am married to someone else, someone I love very much, definitely a soul mate, but it is utterly obvious to me that there is a big difference between that bond and the bond with my TF. Sigh.

    After the latest round of confusing/excruciating behavior from the Runner, I’ve made a strong commitment to simply walk away (not in my heart, of course, for that would be impossible)–stop calling, stop writing, stop sending little gifts. I see how the Chaser dynamic replicates my family-of-origin dynamics, and although I’ve done a TON of work on those, I cannot withstand the constant triggering of them by the push-pull actions of my TF. I need a break–

    but the break is excruciating in its own way.

    It is a constant effort of will to keep my vow to myself to not reach out.

    I pray that I am growing in fortitude and integrity through this process. My physical body shows that this is so through my daily yoga asana practice, but my heart goes on weeping. And when it doesn’t weep, I feel slightly numb, which is worse.

    Having survived the murder of my dad when I was ten and a whole ton of other trauma, I know I’ll get through this, even if my TF doesn’t return in this life. But having survived a lot of traumas that seem, on the face of it, much worse than this one, I am amazed at how devastating this is. The rest of my life is almost unimaginably great and getting better all the time, but this does nothing to console the dull, aching spot that lives at the center of my chest…

    • It is a hard rode, I have know my tf for 20 yrs and I get feeling in my body when he thinks of me or has pain cause we r not together it has been a runner and chaser for almost that long me the chaser. my heart is always broken. we share a song i hear that often, and was told he sent it. ” can’t help falling in love with you” by elvis. i’ve told him i’m ready, but he runns to old habits of his , other women, hes not ready and still has thinks to complete before we can reunite in divine love. I am married but not in love have been for 37 yrs and in divorce proceedings now then will be free. on my own free will. god has said when the conditions are right you will join. I hope its soon i have beenheart broken so long it hurts everyday. I want to give up but i have this inside will that takes over. read the teachings of little crow at barnes in noble it does help explain things. love and hugs things will work out when the time is right

      • Butterfly, I have to reply again to this comment you posted instead of the last one as it won’t allow me to reply to that one for some strange reason. Since I replied to your comment last yesterday I found a couple of things that were quite helpful to me and I will share some of them here on the blog as well. First was a reading I had done back in 2009, then I found a message sent to me by a lady on the Yahoo Twin Flame forum that I am a member of, which was also written in 2008 or 2009, then I remembered I had another message from another female member of the same site in my documents on my computer, and 2 articles I printed out again back in the same time frame on Twin Flames. So yes now I remember what was said to me and why and that I had forgotten what both these ladies advised me to do.

        The reading was interesting and talked about his not being ready and I know that his being married is a sure sign of that. I think he’s afraid that if he leaves her he will find that what we have isn’t real. Just my thought. However I do know he loves his kids and with me being in Newfoundland, Canada, and him being in Barbados, it’s not an easy task to get from one place to the other if he was needed back home for some reason. His 15 yr old daughter was raped at school and now has a baby boy and of course H is helping with the care of his grandson now on top of the daughter and his son who is 10. He also has an older son of about 25 from a previous relationship who has been in jail for a year a couple of years ago. Then he has an older daughter from getting a girl pregnant when he was 18. She is married with 2 children of her own. His mother is dead and he never knew his real father, but he has a step father who is still living that he visits a couple of times a week as he is older and not able to get out much. So H has a full life there in Barbados. It’s a lot to walk away from I guess. However as I said I have told him that if he wanted me to and if he was going to leave his wife, I would move there with him so that he could be close to his kids. He hasn’t made any comment on that yet, lol.

        As for doing anything drastic, seems I mentioned that in a post on the Yahoo forum to that extent and this one lady said it would only mean trouble for me in having to come back and repeat this life again! Thanks but no thanks! Once is definitely enough. However it doesn’t prevent me from asking all in spirit who listen to me to let me come home! So we shall see how that works for me. So far not great, lol.

        As for deleting, I am the one who deletes H when I get angry and frustrated with him and his lack of communication or reading other posts on his profiles by other women. It does get a little hard to take at times and I figure if I can’t see it then it can’t hurt me so I delete him. Then when we make up I have to ask him to add me back, lol. He then says he will always add me back because he loves me that much. He has also said that over the years he has learned that the only thing between us is water! He also said this last time when he came back that his life without me has no balance. So maybe he’s beginning to realize that he too won’t find what he’s looking for in some other woman and he’s not happy with his wife although he cares very much for her. He said he always planned on leaving when the kids got older but since meeting me it would be sooner now rather than later. However events seem to come up that keep him there.

        I am familiar with Liora on Facebook and also subscribe to her page so I too get to watch her videos and read her posts and I have a cd by her as well. I have read about everything there is to read on TF’s, books, articles I find online and so on. I subscribe to goldraytwinflames Youtube channel as I find the information Mel brings forth on TF’s is by far the most likely to be true of anything else I have come across. I do like Yael and Doug Powell’s series of books entitled “Say ‘Yes’ To Love, God explains Soul Mates” and the ones following that one to be very enlightening and have actually read them several times. I also have a couple of friends I have met through the Yahoo forum and on Facebook that have TF’s as well so we commiserate together. Although the 2 I’m closest to have TF’s in spirit so that’s a bit different then the path of having one’s Twin in the flesh so to speak.

        As for Facebook, if I look up “Butterfly” I can’t find you and that is all I have to go on. If you like you can private message me at carolynchipman@ymail.com (ymail is part of Yahoo as some think I made a mistake and mean gmail, lol)

        Thanks for your concern, I do appreciate it and it’s always nice to have someone to talk to when things get rough. Take care.

    • Yes I understand what you mean. It doesn’t matter how great our life is otherwise, this TF thing can make us all a little crazy. You are right too that unless someone is in this themselves, they can’t ever understand what we all go through so we tend to not talk about it.

      My TF was out of contact for 8 months, he’s the runner and I’m the chaser. For the first 5 months I was writing him and leaving him messages that he completely ignored. Then for the last 3 months I stopped reaching out. I didn’t write, or leave messages or anything. I figured he was gone for good this time as it was the longest stretch of no communication from him to date. But I figured if he was walking away for whatever reason, then I was going to try to put him out of my mind and move on with my life. Easier said than done as you know. It takes hardening my heart and I know as we walk this path, not only of Twin Flame reunion but also of ascension, hardening my heart is the worst thing to do when we are trying to open our hearts in this process. However it is the only way I know to stop reaching out to him, to try to stop thinking about him. Even then it doesn’t really work but it makes it a little more bearable. Right now we are in communication again, since Christmas Day, he texted me to wish me a Merry Christmas and I replied, which began our present phase of being in contact. But every day I am afraid this might be the last day I will hear from him even though he tells me he won’t do this again. It’s hard to trust what he says, it’s hard to believe him when he says he loves me because he said that before he dropped off the face of the earth for 8 months. Loving me doesn’t stop him leaving me.

      In my case it is my TF who is married with young kids and that makes it hard for him to leave. I myself am divorced almost 20 years now. If he was to ask me to, I would go there to be with him but he hasn’t and for me to just move there without knowing what would happen would make no sense. He tells me now that he is coming for a visit in November. Now again he has said this before but by the time the visit time rolls around he’s gone and it doesn’t happen. So I can only take this one day at a time right now but I have my days when I am ready to walk, days when I hear nothing and yet know he’s been on the site we use to chat and he sends me stuff on there. So if he’s on there and I don’t hear from him, who the heck is he talking to, or what is he doing? Now he tells me he has lots of lady friends that he talks to with the emphasis on friends and I shouldn’t be jealous. That too is easier said that done when the communication we do have is often not much and a day or two goes by without anything. But yet he can talk to someone else on that site. I don’t ask for much, I only ask for a moment of his time to just say “Hi” but I don’t always get that. I just let it go, I know if I say anything he will be gone again, that’s been the pattern. If I say I wish he would write more or whatever, he just walks. So I say nothing, I keep my feelings to myself and let him do whatever he wants to do. However the day is coming I fear that I’m going to say something again and then he will leave but this time I won’t be waiting for him to come back. This time I will block him from contacting me again. Twin or not, there is only so much a person can take and I’ve about reached my limit. I have given more second chances than I can count but even I have a limit and I’m about done.

      I am tired of crying. I try not to do that anymore because it isn’t crying anymore, it’s more like a keening or sometimes there is no sound at all, it’s just too deep and too painful to express adequately through tears. I know numbness all too well. I have also spent a long time now wanting nothing more than to just go home, to go back to God or where ever it is I came here from. I just want the pain to end. I just want to know peace. I met my Twin over 6 years ago and after the first 5 months of bliss, at least on my part, the rest of this has been a perverse kind of hell. I’m going to post something on my blog in a minute that I read on Facebook the other night called “When Your Partner Stops Giving”. It was very enlightening. There is no doubt that this is a form of abuse and perhaps I’m nuts to even take him back at all Twin or not. I am going to say this though, I am getting ready to move to a new place, a new province even. When I do, I will meet a man there who I have known longer than my TF who has told me that he loves me and wants to meet me when I move because it will be closer to him. If we meet and there is anything at all between us, I’m going for it. I’m tired of waiting for my TF to wake up and smell the coffee. It’s time I got back to living my life and finding whatever happiness there is out there for me.

      I do believe that the Twin Flame is first and foremost a stream of consciousness. I have read that many times and I do believe it based on my own experiences. I’m not even certain anymore that this man who seems intent on causing me untold grief at times is still or ever was my Twin Flame. I believe that we can feel our Twin’s energy or essence through someone else and it is my hope that I will feel his essence with this other man. Right now that is all that keeps me holding on here.

      Thanks for sharing your story with me. Take care. Feel free to write again anytime. Much love to you.

      Carolyn

      • Carolyn I have bben blocked deleted so many times it hurts on each but he always comes back when he relealizes what we share is much more fullfilling then what he runs to. hes in denial and not ready yet. go to twin flame sites and do some reserch i did to help me understand it more. please dont do anything drastic, for thats not in the plan you both have to be ready at the same time god will put u both togehter. he is not ready if married he will need to get a divorce first before god will allow him to be reunited with you. I found this in my reserch. I know it is hard, please hang in there. I am going through it too, but i did go to a medium who told me I will be reunited this yr. we both have things that need to be taken care of first. me a divorce almost completed and he has work to do too which i’m sure is the women he keeps company with for he needs someone to hang with. i think its loria111 twin flame on found it on fb and get daily things from them with videos that explain alot. i just watched one on doing meditaion to send messages to ur tf it worked very well he sent me messages even though we did not talk i know where they came from. . good luck, have faith hugs i”m on fb if u want to look me up love and hugs

  8. Thank you so much for your post. I’m currently going through something I don’t understand but admit have followed up a lot on the twin flame dynamic. Your entry is so enlightening only I wish it applies to me. Will I or will I not be reunited with my “twin soul”? It’s ok to hope right? :*)

    My situation is a bit unique as well. I’m in my late 20’s, and am going through a divorce with a man (we eloped, family doesn’t know) that I never truly loved to begin with. Now that I look back, it was more of a karmic relationship filled with guilt, responsibility and fear. We were together for 5 years, and during this time I met his cousin (late 20’s) who I felt a deep, mysterious connection with but denied it for the sake of my marriage. Years passed by, this cousin and I got to know each other better and realized how alike and compatible we truly were. He became my true friend, not just a “cousin in-law” (he knew about the marriage). Near the end stage of my marriage, I found out that my husband cheated on me. There were other reasons why I needed to escape him, but this was the deal breaker. Somehow, the cousin and I finally confessed our love for each other and got together for a while. Sadly, our “union” did not last for a little over three weeks. He has or had so many issues (e.g. crazy “ex” baggage, career dilemma, health, fear of family strife), and is feeling restless. Meanwhile, I’m trying to tackle my own issues (e.g. divorce settlement agreement, insecurities, jealousy, trust issues). Worst, I think he’s “running” away from me because he has never felt such a “deep” connection like the one we experienced before. I, too, was afraid of losing him so I “chased” him away and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. We are still “friends,” and we talk every now and then. However, I think we both miss each other. I asked him why he thinks we’re going through this, and he said perhaps for me to grow stronger and for him to know what he wants to do with his life. Nonetheless, 3 weeks with him meant so much more than 3 years of marriage from Hell. I wonder if he is truly my twin soul.

    Part of me want to believe that he will come back to me, but the other part is really pessimistic. I’m also a child of God and believe that He will gently enfold my life into his care and keeping. With all the heartache that I’m going through, I truly wonder if it was all meant to be and that my path will be bright again. I hope so because February and March have been such terrible months. I’m slowly healing, but the missing is just so unbearable. Through my prayers and meditation, I’m learning four things: be patient, be understanding, think positive, and listen to God and to my inner spirit. I also know that I need to love unconditionally in order to experience a “divine” connection that I’ve longed for all my life-of which I’ve found with him. Have I gone mad? Does any of this make sense? Will he come back to me?

    Anyway, sorry for the rambling. I’m just relieved that I found your blog and wanted to share with you my story as you did with me. Thank you so much again. God bless.

    • I have never even written on a blog or anything of the sort, but given the nature of this situation and how deeply it affects me, reading your story made me feel the need to share a bit of mine. Your story is the most similar to mine that I’ve read.
      I was attracted to my TF, M, the moment I met him. I was drawn to him, most by how he loved to praise others and made it a mandate to treat others with respect. At the time, we were both married, (my divorce was final yesterday) and it wasn’t even an option as he had the reputation of having the perfect life; great marriage, wonderful kids, good Christians, and more money than most can count. We always got along well, but to be honest, I didn’t think much of it. He was my “gym crush.”
      Approximately 6 months after we met, M had a snowboarding accident and suffered a TBI. He was hospitalized and needless to say, stopped coming to the gym. When he started to get better, he started up at a new gym. His injuries included a short term memory loss for several months. It was pretty tragic, but to spare details, he’s fully recovered.
      I moved to the gym he did as well, not for him but other friends who convinced me to change. He and I always talked about doing competitions together, and he was always complimentary to me. Then one day, we shared a ride home together and it became more evident how famously we got along. We decided to start training together, which started texting to coordinate schedules, which led to joking, then flirting, then more. About two months later, we both confessed that we were absolutely crazy about each other. He told me that I was what “forever after” should’ve felt like, and that he had never felt that way before. We agreed that God had intervened in our lives as neither of us are cheaters, and maintaining integrity was of utmost importance. Our “emotional affair” lasted 3 months, and I fell head over heels as did he. We were never physical, but when we hugged, it felt like going home. The most healing sensation I’ve ever felt. I filled his “comfort cup.”
      He broke things off with me (after telling me he wanted to give us a chance and that his marriage was failing anyway) and told me that although he knew how real his feelings were and how much he trusted me, the feelings simply did not outweigh the fear of failing yet again. (this is his second marriage as is.) I know that him breaking it off with me was not a reflection on me, but his fear to follow his heart. A week later, his wife confronted him, telling him she had read all of our interactions, and he cut me off cold turkey. As I mentioned above, there is lots of $$ at play. Her family has a lot to say about what happens, and who knows what kind of threats they’ve made to him.
      I saw him at a store a few weeks back after not communicating for nearly 9 months, and I approached him and said hi. He lit up and told me it was really good to see me. We pretty much left it at that, then I started to receive threats as well. This whole situation has been eating me up for months, consuming me day and night, and about 2 months back I went to an energy healer and when I finished my story, she told me that we were TF. I had no idea what she was talking about, but after reading all this stuff online, it looks as if I could’ve written most of it. This is the deepest pain I have ever felt, and it KILLS me that he is mere miles away and I cannot have him. I am currently trying to learn the balance of being equally happy with or without him in my life, because I simply don’t know if it’s going to happen, although my intuition has increased 12 fold since this all started and it tells me things just aren’t over. I can’t shake it. And of course most of my friends think I’m completely nuts with not being able to just let go.

      • Thank you for sharing your story Angie. I know it’s not easy and none of us know for certain what will happen down the road. However I have read that as we move into higher and higher vibrations of light, the veil of forgetfulness will become thinner and people will begin to remember who and what they are and then they will know that we are their Twin Flames as well. At that point things will change big time and any relationships that are karmic, like marriages that exist now, will dissolve of their own accord. The only thing I can tell you is to follow your heart and continue to do your own inner work because as we work on ourselves we are also helping our Twins too.

        Much love and light to you,
        Carolyn

      • wow, what a story. I had become closer to mine and I’ve been seeing him driving around town. I’m at a painful point in my story. I don’t know what to make of the synchronicities and eye lock I experienced last month. I had started taking martial arts classes and he asked me why I didn’t continue… I said I sprained my ankle. Well 2 weeks before I sprained my ankle, he twisted his knee… and he then told me “you’re walking on it. Just Ace bandage it up.” I couldn’t even look him in the eyes after he said that. This relationship has had such joys but so much pain too. I am trusting in God but this is an intense experience! Angie I’m sorry to hear your pain. My twin had neck surgery several months ago. This past year has been crazy and my heart goes out to you.

  9. This was a helpful article. So much of the runner’s running doesn’t make sense but I know he’s hurting. He somehow saw an April Fool’s joke I didn’t even intend for him to see, and he has now blocked me on FB. I used to be able to message him but I discovered when I came back from a trip a couple days ago that he blocked me! I don’t even know how he saw my joke because we’re not friends on FB. I found a way to see what he wrote and he sounded annoyed and upset but my joke of saying I was leaving my husband must have really struck a chord with him. We can’t even talk about it, as he avoids me.
    I have been friends w/ my TF since last summer and there have been intense highs and lows. He is constantly in my thoughts, and when we have the good times, there is impeccable, undeniable chemistry. He can just simply smile at me, strictly for me, and I go weak in the knees and feel a powerful magnetism. I’m grateful for the good memories. There are frustrating things that happen to, which is tough. I think the waiting time has approached. I can’t even cry, it’s hard to explain, but part of my soul aches!

  10. ohh I’m so a chaser and so miserable.
    After knowing my twin flame for 20 yrs we have come and gone. more then you could ever know. so what just happened. WOW he asks me to spend 4 days with him over his birthday, a milestone 60 (he looks 45) i said yes. two days later he defriends me, will not return inbox messages, calls or texts. birthday time comes nothing happens he will not reply. I go to his home and sure enough there is a car there i do not reconize , now again i am out of controol and upset. This is a visious cycle i have been in for yrs. yet my hear ackes for him as his does for me. I went to a medium who said we would soon be together but WHY OH WHY do i need all this stress and heart just acking away. for he is the runner, and is still not ready to except and understand whats going on so he runns. HEART BROKEN AGAIN IN NY AND NJ I pray daily many times for me and him. I feel him in my sleep for we are together then but not phyical. When he is thinking of me or in pain i have the feelings through out my body. as he does. I just keep praying for the time when we will have the divine love that is meant to be.

  11. I’m glad I got this article, now I know what to do.

    I thought I was going crazy I hardly knew him. I turned to God for advice cause he was on my mind and inside of me everyday.

    I got to know him without talking to him. Some of the things I can’t explain cause they are spiritual indeed.

    Thanks a lot

  12. I have known my twin flame since I was 17 and im going on 24 now. When we first met I was a lesbian and he was gay but we are both currently bi- sexual Im very masculine and hes very feminine ,we are alike in every way possible. we look alike we act alike and we both love eachother very much. We have been best friends until i started going through my spiritual awakening right after my 22nd birthday. Thats when the running on his part began i am apparenty the chaser but i dont chase him very much because i know it freaks him out i just come around time to time to remind him it is real and i love him still , he really freaks out emotionally when im gone . He is scared to death of the intensity of this love we feel, and i dont exactly blame him it scares me also but the thing is we need to work it out and he needs to stop running away because there is nothing to be scared of . whats really scary is just losing him all together or waking up next to someone that i dont like every morning, that scares me more. I want him to just come to me and be grateful to have me.This is a love that should be worshipped not abandoned . He’ll be here soon im sure of it!

  13. Omg Im so glad im reading this. Its been 3 years since I met my twin, Im the chaser we met on the 1/1/2011 which from what I have been reading pertains to the 11:11 another twin flame sign. Well we are at the point I kind of left since over all this time he has been loving then distant acing strange and we had so many misunderstandings where we would argue finish only to start again. I have given him all the material to read in an email (for we dont live in the same country) so far I have heard nothing, he seems to be ignoring me. I believe he needs to process the information and he will come back when ready. Its been a painful experience too, but there is so much love between us, when we were together everything stopped around us. I always felt this was no ordinary love, I look back now and understand so many things, It all fits in, Im amazed.

  14. Don’t chase. When the runner’s energy shifts you’ll know. And, they always come back. They may very well leave again but they will always come back.

    Chaser, if you’re feeling pain, you need to look at your psychological issues, your childhood issues, issues with self discipline etc. The pain and longing is your soul shouting out to you that you have personal work to do. And that pain will not stop until you go into full force self improvement. Deep down you know this.

    I know this pain. My runner runs and returns often and this has been going on for years.

    Some pockets of time will be easier than others, but don’t waste time waiting for the runner, because if you haven’t been working on yourself and the runner does start coming around, you will go into a panic of inadequacy because you’ve been idle.

    Love to you all.

    • this retrograde we are in has caused havoic on many twin flames. it has with me. Its been run and chase for 20 yrs. but nice to let all know i’m near the end of it, we will be reuniteing this fall when the leaves fall. we both had work to do before we can reunite. yes it hurts bad every time he leaves but he always returns. and are back where we left off. you need to open your heart wide and send him love all day all nite he will get it the more you send the sooner he will pay a visit. Ive done it, it works. send him messages through meditation that u need him he will come, ive done this too. he does not stay because we both have a little more work to do to be together. We also both need to hral from our previous situations. Im so happy its so close i can see the light and taste it to. Patience is big no not get discouraged he will feel ur bad vibes it will keep him away longer. on this retrograve u know what i did? I knew it would happen, i smiled big opened my heart bigger and laughed for i knew what was happening. i will hear again in 16 days when the retrograve moves forward again
      so open ur heart smile and send good vibes even if u r down dont go there for he will feel it HUGS TO YOU ALL , with KISSES on top have a wonderfull day

  15. Outstanding advise Feeling forgotten, it came at a time when I really needed some help, thank you I think I know what I must do now. God bless you and may you and your twin reunite X

  16. I’m so glad this helps. I’ve been in the game for a long time and I promise you that your pain will resolve. I know there are times when you feel it will never end, but it does. I still miss my TF when he’s away but my life is no longer all consumed with his prescence. It’s there everyday but I’m not depressed anymore, I don’t cry anymore and I’m slowly feeling peace with the idea that he may be at a distant the rest of this lifetime.

    I read something once that really helped me. …..”Rejection is God’s Protection”. And you may find later that your runner was away for a very good reason. It may have been to protect you both from a disastrous situation. Right now, you just don’t have that perspective.

    I believe the reason we are pushed to clean up our act, work through our issues and become strong and at peace with ourselves is so that we can work towards fulfilling our mission work.

    Long walks, hot baths, travel, and journalling are awesome ways to help when you’re in there middle of this.

    Love to you all.

  17. I have just met my twin flame and he is on the run at the moment. We met about a few weeks ago. We knew from the moment we saw each other. I have never had my heart beat so fast in my life when I was close to him and I could feel his heart beat the same way when I came close to him. However he is now on the run, but doesn’t want to lose contact either. I was so distraught after his first reaction and cold behaviour towards me that I eventually told him to stop contacting me. He didn’t stop but still is very cold, this leaves me totally confused. He pushes me away when I want to see him but still wants to maintain contact.

    I completely understand the telepathic connection we have that its awesome but painful. I cant stop thinking of him, I dream of him ALL the time (vivid dreaming). I see him being part of my life in the dreams but in reality its a different story. The universe sends me all sorts of signs that he is the one. on my phone all my contacts went blank except for his number. I am drawn to things that he likes or that relates to him. I wish I wasn’t because it hurts that he doesn’t see it yet.

    I thank all of you for your helpful advice above , it is so comforting to know that this is part of the journey and that I am not losing my mind.

    Love and Blessings to all.
    Newly found Twin Flame

  18. I met mine a year ago under strange circumstances, after I had a painful experience with a karmic soulmate (I was convinced at the time he was my flame, but he just set me on the right path). My flame and I live in different countries, but talk pretty regularly as friends, and we’re both journeying and working hard on our individual lives. I told him a while back I had feelings for him. He responded vaguely, not a yes or a no, but we’ve continued our friendship despite that awkwardness. I don’t know sometimes if anything will ever come of this, but I try to live my own life, trust the Universe, and send him unconditional love each day knowing it may not be returned. It’s funny, sometimes I get fed up with the whole thing and say NOPE I’M DONE. And every single time, even if he hasn’t spoken to me in weeks, he pops up almost immediately. It’s like he can hear me trying to walk away. And so I stay energetically and emotionally open to him, and I wait and see. What do you think will happen? Am I crazy for waiting?

    • New sky, I can totally relate to the giving up thing , and just saying I’m done and moving on. Then my tf comes back and sends me a text that he wants to see me. It drives me insane that I love someone I have only known for a few months and can’t tell him or show him either. I have tried to just forget, he never leaves my thoughts ever. During the day he will just randomly pop into my mind. Weirdly now I think he knows we have a unique connection but is too scared to admit it and show it. I am trying hard to make peace with the fact that we have to move at a snails pace and but I am being patient allowing him to contact me first and setting the pace. I know I will never be able to unconditionally love someone else. At this stage I am grateful that we have found each other amidst the pain of him sometimes running. Love and blessings

  19. Lizelle, it sounds like we’re in exactly the same place. Sometimes I’m not even sure who is the runner and who is the chaser. He is so hard to read – he’s been especially hard to read today, actually – and it’s so frustrating sometimes. I don’t even know if I want to be with him, or at least my rational mind thinks that. Yet when I ask my intuition, my whole being says YES, I LOVE YOU. I feel like that blocks me from finding happiness with someone else….maybe that’s part of the process, learning to love unconditionally but let him go, so he can do what he needs to do. It’s hard. Love to you. We can do this.

  20. Hi,

    I am the chaser and I have been separated from my twin flame (runner) for past 10 yrs. We are not in touch since then. But since last 5 years I am getting strong signs which are all leading to the runner. I am not sure as to what to do in this situation. I get signs and messages in music, repeated numbers like 111 ( see triple numbers and combinations), angel feathers, repeated symbols and all other possible things which remind me of my runner. I am sure it is about my runner as I get a strong sure and clear inner knowing that the runner is back but I am not able to do anything about it. I feel stuck and I don’t have the confidence take action.

    What do I do in such a case? I am scared to approach and follow the signs I am getting as our breakup was very painful because it was a twin flame relationship which I realized many years after our breakup.

    Can you please help me how be sure about this and what is to be done now?

    – Pam

  21. I’m crying so hard reading all of these. It’s only been 4 months of him being gone. So many of you have talked of the years of pain you are living thru. I can’t imagine having to feel like this for the rest of my life. It sounds unbearable. It is now as it is. My guy was very aware of our connection. He would talk of getting his signs from the universe just like I get mine.he felt me and heard me even though he lives across the country. I just don’t see how you let go of someone that you have such a strong love for. It’s so painful and confusing. He must still feel me as I do him?? He can’t block me out if we are spiritually connected. I for sure see how this brings up things you need to work on but why can’t you work on them while together. That’s what the “normal” humans do;/.ive gone for healings and called numerous psychics . Wasted so much money. They all said exact same thing. He will be back, he’s my mirror, he feels same way. I want to hope they are right but it doesn’t look realistic according to everyone’s stories. I’m truly shattered.

    • Channan, first you need to gain some control over your emotions because through your connection, he is feeling what you are feeling. The energy you are putting out there is that he is never coming back and as long as you do that then he won’t come back. The Twin Flame relationship isn’t a “normal” relationship and it doesn’t work like one either. He’s not gone really, you are connected always. Focus on that connection and use it to send him love and positive feelings. The connection dissolves time and space so that it doesn’t matter where he is or how long he has been “gone”.

      Your Twin is part of you and you are part of him. Love the part of him that is in you. Hold him, tell him you love him. Let him feel the love instead of the fear that you have right now. Imagine being with him, create a space and meet him there. I have written about this before. Our imaginations are as real as this illusion, this reality, we are currently living in. Be with him in this place and let him love you and you will then feel his love. It isn’t gone, it’s always within you. What he needs from you right now is stability, trust and faith.

      Remember this is part of the Twin Flame journey, the coming together to experience the love and the connection, then the splitting apart for one or both of you to work on something that needs to be dealt with inside of you. It’s called the Twin Flame dance. Have faith that he will return because he can’t resist the magnetic pull between you. Just use this time to work on your own growth, find things that make you happy. Try some new things that you always wanted to try but never found the time for. Explore some new creative projects that you always wanted to try. For example, I now make my own greeting cards and I make jewelry, both things I never did before I met my Twin. That’s probably the biggest reason that we are not with our Twins at present.

      Imagine if we met our Twins and then proceeded to live happily ever after. Chances are we would not experience the soul growth that comes from the periods of “separation”. I know from my own experience, I would not have pursued my own spiritual journey if Hartley and I were together. As much as I wanted to be with him since the moment we met, if that had happened we would have been too busy playing house that our spiritual growth would not have happened in the way that it has. There is a purpose to all of this even if we can’t see it right now. Trust in the process. Our reunions are assured.

      Much love to you and feel free to write me if you need someone to talk to. My personal e-mail is: carolynchipman@ymail.com (and it is ymail and not gmail as some people think I made a mistake)

      • Very nice response Carolyn. I like your explanation on how to deal with the separation especially. Channan I felt exactly the same way when I read some of the twin flames connections being separated for years even…. I thought wow that must be so painful. When all u wanna do is have your twin flame with you…. And feel like home. Since I was a young girl I remember always wishing I had a twin sister or brother in the physical sense. I never knew I was actually yearning for my twin soul back then!!! I only realised now why I felt that way. Its profound that the signs where there all the along. I only met my twin a few months ago, he live in another city. Sometimes acts very cold towards me and sometimes days will go by where we don’t speak that alone drive me insane and makes my logical brain tell me this guy doesn’t really care at all. Anyway I still can’t wait for day we finally will be together forever.

      • @lizelle

        That is very interesting that you say that…. The yearning for a twin… When I was a small child, I also had that yearning… In fact, i KNEW i had a sister/brother out there in the world.. I could feel him/her… I knew that someday we would find each other and know each other instantly… As i grew older, i never expected to actually find him…. I was 11… We recognized each other on sight… I saw him, and stopped dead in my tracks… At that moment I saw him, he turned and saw me and i saw the look of shock on his face… He was 12 years old.. That was 28 years ago…. He and I have been doing this Mexican Hat Dance for nearly 3 decades….

  22. Thank you so much! I feel his pain too and it just so strongly feels like if we just talked it out , we could ease some suffering. But that’s the normal relationship part of my brain talking. I felt him before I met him. He felt the same. We are both in relationships and have responsibilities . He chose to focus on those. Which is what he should do! Again logic!!! Lol we can’t be together in this lifetime unless both our lives drastically change. I just want to hear from him again and get the chance to say I love you. It burns in my mouth. I hope I get communication in this lifetime to say it. I say it in spirit all the time. I have been pushing myself to try new things, to show more kindness , to be more open to life. I had before meeting him lost my spiritual way . So I’m on this spiritual journey and discovery. It really forces you to look in to it. He would always say “It is such a beautiful engagement when our freaky minds connect”. And it sure was. And hopefully is. For the energy feels different . I don’t know if I’m getting in his head or not. Sounds like he doesn’t have a choice! Anyway, thank you dear ones for your responses. It’s so wonderful to know others who understand!! You can prob tell I run a lil myself from the love. I’ve fought it thru everything. Not allowing myself to believe someone so amazingly made for me existed. That he could like/love me was to much for my head to wrap around. And now that I start to see it clearer , in a way it adds more to the confusion. I know he’s dealing with this too. He’s on his own journey. I do feel blessed! I just want the pain to stop. It’s killing me. It hits me in waves instead of the waves of happy electricity I would get. We called them Zaps! Like touching an exposed wire and suddenly your together in the most beautiful way. Ok, I’m rambling!!! Lots of love to all of you. Thanks again for taking time to reply. It sooooo helps to hear from others.

    • I love my twin flame dearly whether we reunite or not. I’ve been hearing his thoughts a lot the past 2 days, I’ve been telepathically sending him love, light, comfort and peace as I haven’t heard my proof but his wife is very sick and fragile. I lit a candle last night for healing. I feel his emotions so I keep sending him love. It’s kind of a success story because I don’t harbor negative feelings at all. I feel true love and compassion & I believe he can feel the comfort in that during this devastating time for him!

      • From my experience as a twin flame i was always the chaser. I was with my twin two weeks ago only a short time less then an hr. I informed him i am no longer chasing. after our talk he was scared an ran again. I had a chara cleanse , this caused me to have a high in life, ( no drugs, needed for this kind of feelig) the high i have is so high i have attracted so many other male friends its funny but it also brought my twin closer for he can feel my over whelming high an love in life. he called me an texted me for two days. no i did not reply to any he rode by my home, i preteneded i was asleep outside. he has to really want you, an i know he does but, he is close an so am i an when he really wants me and is done running he will come an is. its that close. but im loving it so much. an letting him finally do the chasing love to all have faith and you will be one again.

  23. Faith that she will return to me, that we will fulfill the purpose we both know, or knew once. (She is the runner, I am the chaser). I tell myself that yes, the universe conspired to bring us together and see what we are.. but keeping that faith when she will not speak to me at all is hard. It has been over a year now that she is gone and I still have her in my every thought, I dream of her every night, and my pain is still as poignant as the day she sent me away.. It is hard to keep that faith, to keep that hope and work on myself. This place helps. Thank You!

    • I’m glad if my posts are helpful to you William, that is my purpose in doing this. I know your pain, I have felt it myself, but I am in a place right now where I don’t feel that pain quite as much as I used to. I have reopened my connection with my Twin and it does help a lot. I have come to the realization that he and I are always connected, we are part of each other, and now I spend a lot of time talking to him in my mind because I know he hears every word. So being able to do that, even though I still write him but he doesn’t reply, I still feel connected to him in a way that has helped ease my pain tremendously. I think once we really understand and accept that we can’t lose our Twins then we can move through the pain and find some comfort in that fact. It’s a hard path to walk for sure but I promise you will come to this point too. It helps to have people to talk to who understand this journey too so if you ever feel the need to talk, my e-mail is carolynchipman@ymail.com it is ymail and not gmail as some think I made a mistake, lol. Take care and much love to you on your journey.

      • Thank You so much Carolyn.. most people tell me I am crazy to love someone that doesn’t want to be with me. I will tell you that I knew she was in the world when I was very young,.. that has been a long time. She knows, or knew, our connection, and we were on the verge of living together but then.. she had a very tragic happening in her life that I think she blames herself – and “us” – for that.. All my internal dialog is with her. I have stopped writing her as she doesn’t reply ~smile~ except to tell me to stop.. so I have. I still hope though. I like and understand what you say about never being able to lose that connection… I believe it always has been and always will be, through all lifetimes. I still feel the connection like you say you feel. I will send you hope and love too, we need it. Thank You again!

  24. Hi..what you have shared in the article is 500% true! I have gone through exactly the same experience.
    Thanks for the article…sometimes…its great to see someone else understand what you are going through..so accurately.

    it certainly gives more strength to have faith and hold on…
    thanks a ton.

  25. I started my tf relationship by knowing the guy and just being intrigued by him. I thought he was attractive which wasn’t like me as I am mostly focused on the spiritual plane. I am kinda shy and didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable about it so I avoided him, just in case he heard rumors or if he could somehow tell from my energy. One day I heard his voice and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Since then I’ve been a runner. I would literally run away from him, avoid eye contact, shut down etc because of the sheer intensity of his presence. It is like my whole being is being consumed by his presence and I’m being suffocated. Still…I think about him all the time. I stopped having sex with my s.o. Months ago and only think about tf that way because the thought of being with him is such an other-worldly ecstasy. I hardly ever see tf but was ashamed when I did bc I felt he could sense me on another level and that he somehow knew I felt this way. He has a girlfriend and I don’t want to cause problems. Also, deep down I’m scared that he would be repulsed that I could even think we could be together. Anyway, I’ve been looking up what this could be bc it sure isn’t normal. I want to be normal around him and just be his friend (I’m kidding myself right?) I came across this tf stuff a few days ago and it has consumed my life. I see that a lot of people are going crazy with it as well so I’m going to work on giving it to God bc no matter how much I read about or study it I don’t get any closer to a resolution, if anything it is a huge distraction in my life. I just wanted to put my story out there as a release of some sort, bc I feel so utterly alone in this. So, as being a runner I have to let you know that I can’t run from long from my tf. He has never chased me and I feel the need to pop up and see him every now and then. Even if it’s just a hey or a head nod. That’s how I feel safe. Also, I’m a girl so I’ve always thought the man should chase the woman. I don’t expect us to live the rest of our lives on these crumbs so I’ve used this experience to love him so much as to let him go and realize wholeheartedly that above all else I just want peace for us both. If he loves me the way I love him then he’ll come to me and I will know it’s a real tf. With all the fear swirling around in my head I don’t know what is real anymore so I grow closer to God.

  26. I’m a runner and I can go long periods without seeing my twin flame. He is always on my mind though. I think what we have to remember when dealing with the tf dynamic is the masculine/feminine energies. I am most attracted to my tf when he embodies his true self and is in his masculine form. I would assume he is most attracted to me in my feminine form. Too much time can’t pass without me going to search for him. Sometimes just seeing him or catching a glimpse of him is enough because it is just so intense. It all boils down to fear. I’m so frightened! It literally boils down to when I am in his presence it feels like I will obliterate (at least part of me and this is probably the part I don’t want anyway lol). It took me a long time before I could even look into his eyes and when I did, Whoa! I was literally lifted out of this world, time stopped. This is why we run. I love my tf so much that I feel so little in sight of his magnificence. When I run I need him to feel compassion for me bc at that instant my ego is going crazy and looking for any excuse to not look back. A part of me knows my purpose being here is to teach him compassion, to have him not be so concerned with me “rejecting” him as to always be a welcoming place, a beacon, a home. And he always is. He doesn’t acknowledge my ego, and in those moments my ego ceases to exist. I’ve never hugged or kissed me but I yearn to. Well I guess I did hug him once, or rather he hugged me but I just shut down completely when he did I couldn’t handle it, lol. It is just like the guy said above, you have to play it cool. Be cool. Don’t come from a place of a needy little ego. Be more than that because that is what you are.

  27. Hello, I’d love to share my experience too…
    Well.. I’m not into labels.. so I’ll explain as it is. Our reunion happened at a very sacred divine ceremony. We only had met 2 days before… so yes….I was on a mission.. ever since I felt Sanat Kumara’s help and guidance so so deeply within me since months before…. And I had finally went there (going to keep the name of the place) with the sole mission to finally meet my TF.
    Whether this would happen or not, I knew I had a chance in my heart, I earned this right to decide, even not to decide.
    So it could be her or to continue my light path.
    It was so lovely… for she realized bout it being in a deep divine trance, and she asked me if I was her TF.
    Both being so up high in beautiful energy, recongnized eachother.
    THis story goes on to say it took time for both of us to finally face eachother again and say our truth…
    (it all seemed so incredible, you know this part lol)
    We were doing many other ceremonies in the meantime…. in the end one fine day, it happened.
    ohh it was at a very sacred spot, the dalai lama had set himself … we declared our eternal love each other
    ohhh so divine… lol

    Previously, SHe was about to leave the place, I would be going home too (yea we live in diff countries)
    WE opened up and this was just the beginning of our story… for we stayed in that place…
    HERE, at this point I knew why we couldnt be together… yeah… the classical human contracts/karmas
    she was into. Still… we decided we would be together after all.
    What follows is me going thru a mystical dilema, shse was in hers too… you are not asked to believe what continues,
    not going to say “if this resounds with you” go ahead and say something, it is what it is…
    SO after a sacred pilgrimage, I came to know… I realized… I became aware… I felt… I had a stellar being inside of me..
    ONe I came to know… was inside because of an ancient contract between stellar families…
    yeah… the whole speech on “da divine plan” the karmic system of this present earth plane… the old
    discourse of merging energies to continue the path… “christ consciousness” etc, etc lol…
    So the purpose of having, holding, bearing, feeding…. this being was to merge and prepare myslef for real uniting wiht
    my TF…..

    She was with me the whole process… dealing with her own past lives … until I finally made it….
    The being was to follow its light path.. and it was expelled beautifully, honorably, magically…
    NEVER have I felt so so so MYSELF again …. I had regained my will and power and my complete conscousness and responsability for my own path…
    JUst a few hours more after this happened… and it all had to come to its end… we would have to depart to our places…
    and continue to our up to now chosen lifeline…
    We promised love forever… and we had a plan to completely reunite us but in a couple of years… if it all continued as
    “da plan” said… lol
    IM here seven months later… something that is worse than not having met your TF is having met her and feel you are wasting valuable time … not being able to establish a real bonding …
    The feeling that our personal egos are splitting us, but this sense of helplessness remains … for we could do marvels for each others lives… and we both have that spark to do it now….

    So yes… I keep asking myslef…why is it communication fails in most TF relationships??? if both have amazing and wonderful ways to show love??? why do you fear? waht do you fear???? you still fear conflict and rejection??
    ohh yes… there are personal lessons we have to consider we all go thru… and theres this need to comprehend…
    better said… to feel this compassion and act accordingly towards our beloved’s personal karma…
    BUT these things ARE to be worked out together…not separately… you dont take a distance and say..” OK IM allowing it to be solved by the grace of ” “if its meant to be it will be” nooooo… if theres love love merges… and heals it all…
    not so much of a scientific explanation for that…we know that part too…

    so what do we fear??? Itll take as much as we get to rethink of it … to finally get to the point its ALWAYS BEEN OUR CHOICE to be together… (having passed years in the process) ….
    SO for me its taking more than mere determination and patience to continue “BELIEVING” lol ….
    INVOLVING in a TF relationship means a wise and humble talking (a joyfull one of course lol) … above all surrendering … letting go of wahts not healthy and necessary anymore…
    Still I have my choice…. no regrets about anything… happy with what happens next… but surelly … all in all… light is my path… whether it happens again … or not… we need to continue… the biggest thing is not me thru her or her thru me….
    but US …. humankind as a whole united consciousness…. AS much as we continue raising vibes… we will help “da plan”… but again… theres no mission… we are our own mission… as simply as that… SO WHY WORRYNG???
    wehn we discover we are our own mission… we are ready to serve…. blissfully and divinely…
    LOVE’S THE JOURNEY
    Someone from Somewhere… from sometime soon…

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