My Answer To A Question On Twin Flames


I thought I would share my answer to a question from a follower of my blog with you. We all have questions regarding someone being our Twin Flame or not, how do you know for sure and what do you do if he or she is your Twin Flame? I will say again that I am not an expert and neither do I have all the answers because I still have my own questions so take what I said to that person for what it’s worth, my own insights and musings on my own Twin Flame journey. Here it is:

I wish I had some truly great advice to give you but sad to say I don’t. I can tell you what I have learned and maybe that will help.

I did an online course or webinar about 3 years ago with Angelina Heart who is one of the foremost “experts” on Twin Flames. I put expert in quotation marks because honestly I don’t believe there is any expert on Twin Flames. Every Twin Flame journey is unique to the two people involved. However she did say a couple of things that have stuck with me and I do believe are true.

First, your Twin Flame is first and foremost a stream of consciousness, or energy, if you will. What is happening with your Twin, the person who holds that embodiment of your Twin on this plane, is mostly irrelevant. You can however still have a relationship with your Twin on the etheric plane. Angelina and several others who have put out info on Twin Flames have said that you can meet your Twin Flame in an “imaginary” place and have that relationship that you long for there. Let me explain.

I have a friend with a Twin who is in spirit. He did live but died several years ago. He gives my friend information to pass onto me to help me with my own Twin journey. Because, like you, my relationship with my Twin Flame is off and on with long stretches of no communication or contact what so ever. I have been in this relationship for a little over 5 years. One of the things my friend’s Twin told me was to meet my Twin on the astral plane, to be with him there, to love him there. I said I didn’t know how to do that and he said that all I had to do is create a place in my imagination for us to meet. So I created a room, a bedroom with a sitting area. That room has a door that leads out to a small patio with steps that lead down to a very beautiful cove with a white sandy beach. The water is a greenish blue. We have dolphin friends that we swim with there and a sail boat that we take out on the water from time to time. This is our place. This is where I go in my mind to be with him, to love him and to make love with him too.

You can do similar with your Twin. Create a place for you both to meet, make it anything that has relevance to you or to both of you, include things you both like to have around you and things you like to do together. The only limit is your own imagination! I was told by my friend’s Twin that if I did this, spent time with my Twin in this way, loving him and so on, that on some level he’s aware of what we do there. He will feel that love and that connection we have there. Does that make sense for you? I tell you it has been the saving grace for me, without that place to go to be with my Twin I don’t think I would have made it this far.

The second thing I will mention here is that you need to remember that you and your Twin Flame are never truly apart or separated because you are always connected, you are always ONE. The separation we feel here is an illusion, it’s not real. Our Twin is inside us just as we are inside them. This is a connection, a fact of our reality as Twin Flames, that can’t be broken no matter how hard we or they try to break it. Sometimes it is best for us to let them go their merry way and do whatever it is they feel like doing knowing all the while that the pull of the Twin union will bring them back. Remember whatever it is they are up to when not with us is part of their own growth and development. Things they wanted to explore and learn during this life. It truly has nothing to do with us.

In the meantime, while they are off doing whatever without us, it is our “job” to continue to learn and grow as individuals ourselves so that when the reunion does take place, we are all ready for it. So as hard as it is to be without them, we need to continue to with our own lives as best we can knowing that it will happen when the time is right. So many Twin Flames are not together right now, you are definitely not alone in that. I can only assume that there is a reason for that and all we have to do is wait it out. The reunions will happen in God’s divine right time and not one second before.

Something else that I will also mention is that some Twins are not going to be reunited during this lifetime. I’m not saying you are one of them because I would have no way of knowing that. But some are finding each other while one or both are married to other people. If that is the case then some of those Twins have decided to remain in their marriages with other people who are not their Twin Flame. Meeting your Twin Flame is not about having a relationship with them. Sometimes the mission of a Twin Flame couple doesn’t require them to be together physically. That love Twin Flames share is still there but does not require them being together or to destroy their marriages. Now my Twin Flame is married and I’m not. I’m not sure what the future holds for us but he does tell me that he plans on leaving her when he gets some things in place and then he will come here to be with me.

Now all that being said, there is another situation that occurs where the Twin decides this is not what they want and so when that happens a fragment of our one soul will show up to take the Twin’s place. I think I wrote about that in an article on my blog, I got the information from Mel of goldraytwinflames in a video he did. He said that we all have soul fragments as our soul splits into 12 fragments, one remains in the higher dimensions as our Higher Self, the other 10 of us are out there somewhere living their lives, that could be on other worlds or other dimensions or parallel universes. However if the Twin decides not to wake up or for whatever reason doesn’t want that relationship with us, one of the soul fragments will step into that role for us. Someone will show up for us and will hold the essence of our Twin Flame. I hope that makes sense.

I actually think that has happened for me. Well actually there are a couple of theories on this so I will share them with you as well because it might help you to find the answers you seek for yourself. The man I think of as my Twin lives in Barbados and is married. He found me on a dating site actually in January of 2008. For the first 5 months of our relationship we were in what Mel likes to call “bubble love”. Everything was beautiful and amazing, our connection, our ability to communicate telepathically and feel each other’s physical and emotional pain or whatever. But then I found evidence that he was talking to someone online that he knew before he met me. They had a thing before we met and he went back to her. This is why I’m not concerned about his marriage because he’s been having online affairs before I met him. Oh and we have never been together physically as I live in Canada. The couple of times we made plans to meet, something always came up and it didn’t happen. However that didn’t matter because distance is irrelevant in a Twin relationship.

As Mel would say, what goes up must come down and that is what happens with Twin Flames. That bubble love can’t be maintained indefinitely and so after that period of euphoria that we experience with our Twins, reality sets in and then we have one or both Twins running. My Twin was the runner in our relationship. I was brokenhearted. I cried rivers of tears. I was mad at the universe for a long time when our relationship fell apart. I fell into a deep depression and yes even considered taking my own life to end my suffering. This is when my friend’s Twin told me to meet him on the astral plane. However there came a point about a year later that my friend’s Twin told me that there was nothing left in him, the man I believe to be my Twin, for me, that I needed to let it go and move on without him.

I tried but my every waking thought was about the man I believed to be my Twin. I even had a couple of brief relationships but they never worked out and the reason is mainly my not being able to stop thinking about him. Then in July of 2010 the brother of a Facebook friend, also from Barbados, passed away. Now I didn’t know she had a brother until he died and she changed her profile photo to one of him. His name is Rob. I took one look at that photo and cried and cried and couldn’t understand for the life of me why I was so upset. I used to look at his photo and ask him why I didn’t know he was here and how did we miss our connection.

When I finally got around to telling my friends with Twins about this, they were all convinced that Rob was my Twin based on my reaction to his photo. I said he couldn’t be my Twin because of the other man that I still thought of as my Twin, I still do in some ways. Well then I had a couple of readings done by different people and they confirmed that Rob is my Twin Flame. Now I feel the energy of this beautiful man around me all the time. He’s pretty much been with me since his death. However I still think about the other man all the time!! So believe me when I say I know how confusing this can be. The thing is though, no one can tell you who your Twin Flame is, that comes from inside your own heart. I have another friend who thought for 9 years that this one man was her Twin Flame. She was convinced of it. Then a couple of months ago she discovered he isn’t and now this new man in her life is her Twin Flame. There is a Twin Flame couple who had a Youtube site and a website to help other Twin Flames and they were married. Well they are no longer together now either.

It’s a difficult journey and there are no absolutes here. I’m not an expert on the subject but I am willing to share my own knowledge and insights based on my own journey. When it comes to my relationship with the man who is living in Barbados, the first one I thought was my Twin, others have told me that it’s a co-dependent relationship or that I’m just obsessed with him. I don’t know. I know that our relationship met all the “signs you have met your Twin Flame” that I posted in one of my first blog posts. However there are times when I talk to him now and then that I can’t feel my Twin in there anymore. I have been told that he isn’t my Twin but was the one who was meant to wake me up to the Twin Flame journey. Mel would call this “the catalyst”, the one you meet who awakens you to this journey but who isn’t meant to be in your life forever. So maybe that is what he was and I have just become fixated on him. Again I don’t know. I still have some contact with him and I’m kind of waiting to see what will happen, if he’s going through his own awakening and will be ready to do this or if this is just him playing with me because he knows I love him but maybe he’s the energy vampire I was once told he was. I don’t like to think of that but again it could be true. I get very little from him at the moment, a text message every couple of days and that’s it.

As for Rob, mostly my Twin Flame relationship is with him. He’s the one I now meet on the etheric plane in the room or on the beach. I have been told recently that he is definitely my Twin Flame but that the other man, when he is in his heart, can reflect Rob to me. That loving them both is okay for that reason. She also said that if the other man leaves or I don’t want that relationship anymore, than someone else will show up for me who will hold or mirror Rob’s essence if that is what I desire. Or I can just wait for the veils to thin enough that at some point I will be with Rob in every way. The way I look at it is this. Angelina Heart said that it doesn’t matter whose face we put on our Twin Flame, because it’s not restricted to one person necessarily. If we remember that only a small part of our soul is actually in our physical bodies then we can then imagine that the soul we share with our Twin can then overshadow another person to be with us. Not sure if I’m explaining this as well as I should but it’s hard to put into words. It’s like our soul has fingers of light that can move in and out of bodies at will as it needs to with the agreement of the soul inhabiting the body. I think Angelina compared it to a bowl of clear water, the clear water being the original soul. Then you add a drop of say red food coloring (the essence of another soul) to the water and the water now turns red but the original soul is still there and now so is the other one. I know it’s all confusing.

So with all this info that I’m giving you, I hope this doesn’t confuse you more. Like I said, there are those who are convinced this one person is their Twin Flame and then, after years of believing that, something changes. So my advice to you, and I’m following this myself too, is to be open to any possibility. Who knows, the one you think of as your Twin may come back to you and everything will work out fine, or someone new will come into your life and change everything. Just don’t let life pass you by while you wait for this one to wake up and smell the coffee. Live your life, explore your options, find your life’s purpose and continue to learn and grow, all the while being open to whatever surprises God may have in store for you. That’s what I’m doing. Finding what ignites my passion and following that. Developing my other talents and gifts and trying to be in the now moment as much as possible while letting the other man do what he feels led to do for himself. I’m open to the idea that he may come back and be what I want and need him to be but if he doesn’t then Rob is still here and his love is beautiful. He’s my main relationship at any rate. So good luck on your own journey.

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16 thoughts on “My Answer To A Question On Twin Flames

  1. I am also attracted to a men like a magnet who lives in another continent. There are other nice men around me but somehow i can’t think about anything else. He is married , having difficulties on and off with his relation. He wants to get close to me also but his logic and our distance holds him back.
    One day i felt like i able to get inside of him, it was nice feeling. His chest open and i lay out inside of him..He still has ego justifies patterns but i feel him very much..

  2. Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart.
    That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks to DR AKPAKPA, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how DR AKPAKPA could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.


    • Besty;

      Thank you for your comment. I am not sure I agree with using a spell to bring a true Twin Flame back into our lives. Twin Flames are always connected and are part of each other. That bond cannot be severed or broken no matter what the two individuals involved do. When we meet our Twin Flame, that initial connection between us is only the beginning. It is to awaken us to each other but then the real work begins, the healing of karma and everything that keeps us from being the love we are. I have had to let my Twin Flame go, to surrender to our higher selves and our soul to do what needs to be done for both of us. If healing is to take place than both Twins need that time apart to work on themselves, to mature spiritually so that both are ready for the physical reunion. The spiritual reunion has already taken place. I’m happy for you that it worked for you but it’s not something I would do or even recommend. Many blessings.


  3. Hello,

    I think I found my Twin because of the strong connections we have. We are good friends with different culture, beliefs and language. Currently, we live in different continent because I moved. At first, it was just nothing, but there was this feeling that we’re gonna see each other again. It all started last yr. I could say it was the time that I was awaken and maybe, in his side, too. It was clear to me that after I met him again in his country, I could see myself in him which I couldn’t explain why. I even felt his energy and there were times we met in my dreams. However, it was already late for us if we’d decided to recognize it and to give it a try because I’m married. I got married last 2011. Anyway, we remained friends and we communicated for a couple of months until 3 months ago. Since then, I’ve never felt him. There was one time we saw again each other in my dream, he came and he was with my brother. The feeling was just friends, but I was glad he came which I didn’t expect. Now, I have this thought not to communicate anymore with him because I think we need space and time to heal. I don’t want to hurt him anymore because I guess I am the runner, and I still have some issues I’m facing and I have to fix it. Besides, I’m married and I have to go on in my life. I don’t know whats gonna happen to us in the future, but I really want him to be happy in his life. Sometimes, I wish to just cut the invisible cord that we have, but I cant because I get worried of him and I know its impossible because he is my half. Yes, I care for him because he’s my friend and my twin. I just hope he’ll be happy and he’ll have a long life here on this planet.

    • Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. None of us know what the future holds for any of us with Twins. All you can do is live your life knowing that if it is meant to be then nothing on this plane of existence can prevent it from happening.

      Much love and many blessings,

  4. Firstly, Thank you for all the information you share with us.
    I have a question and a favor to ask coming from a place of desperation…
    I was wondering how your friend was able to be in communication with her twin flame who was in the spirit world after he passed on?
    My twin recently passed in a tragic way where I have guilt and anguish over his death. It would be amazing to be able to know I feel & hear his real.presence.,.instead off wondering.if. my mind is. working overtime to console my being.
    I’m more or less unfunctional at the moment . It’s been 1 month since the accident & 2 weeks since his actual death. We were arguing all night & I just had to continue arguing … His accident happened right after I said some very ugly things, and those were the last words he ever heard. The last words I ever said to him.
    I understand. that Its. hard for spirits to get through all the emotion s & grief we experience here. If they want to be in contact So. I am working on forcing myself to meditate, at least so I can stop crying for a little while and a.break.
    My heart is so shattered, please ask your friend how best to handle healing from this intense pain & how I should go about being in communication and Sending love to him. And maybe how to listen or be aware of him. reaching out to me.
    Thank you again. Blessings , Love & Light

    • Let me see if I can answer your questions. I have 2 friends with Twins in spirit and my own Twin is also in spirit. Neither of us had communication with them before they transitioned and were even unaware of them being our Twins until after they transitioned. My two friends both have famous Twins and were actually surprised to feel their presence with them. It’s a kind of knowing that you are sensing him. You have to trust what you feel as your ego will tell you that you are imagining it.

      Something that my friends Twin told me to do was to create a space in my imagination and meet my Twin there, talk to him there, love him there. I questioned it and asked how I would know that I was actually talking to him or holding him and not just imagining it and his words to me were “trust me and just do it”. So I did. I created a very elaborate place for us, a beautiful room with beautiful furniture, a fire place and so on, and then there is a door leading out to a small patio with steps that lead down to a beach. It’s our own private cove and we go swimming and have dolphin friends there. Recently, within the past several months we even have a boat to go sailing. I have learned to trust what we share there, what we talk about has often proven to be true later.

      So that is what you will have to do, create your own space with your Twin, make it as simple or as elaborate as you want, make it something meaningful to you both. My Twin was from Barbados and so that’s why the beach. I kind of made it a blending of where he was from and where I live now so that there are familiar things around us. Make it personal and then ask him to meet you there. In that space you will connect with your Twin. You will be able to hold him, to talk to him, to make love with him if that is what you desire. BUT you have to trust that it is real even if it feels like you are just imagining it. What I do or share with my Twin in the place I created is as real to me and sometimes feels more real than my life here. In that space where you meet with him, you can tell him how sorry you are for what you said but he already knows that. Once they transition they know how difficult life here is for us. He is not holding any anger towards you, he will only and always feel incredible love for you. We are the ones who feel guilt because that doesn’t exist on the other side.

      Don’t blame yourself for what happened to him. Since Rob, my Twin, has come to me right after his death, I have been told that this was planned that he would leave the earth and we could better serve humanity in this way with him being in spirit and me being in a physical body. The way we do this is by anchoring this incredible love from the other side in this physical reality. What you shared with your Twin here takes on a higher quality now that he’s on the other side. It’s a much finer and purer love because now he sees and understands everything about you and your relationship and now that love has more depth and is more refined. That is the love you share when you are both on the other side but now your “job” is to hold that higher frequency love on this plane of existence to aid in the ascension of all of humanity. It’s what all of us with Twins in spirit are doing. We also believe that the time is getting closer that we will be reunited with our Twins and so you can hold onto that hope along with us.

      I hope I’m making sense because I really should be in bed but after reading your question I had to answer it right away. If something else comes to me later when I get up I will let you know. If you would like to communicate more privately my e-mail is My e-mail is also my Yahoo Messenger ID and so we could chat there too if you were up to it. One thing I will recommend though is that you read the book Eternal Twin Flame Love, The Story of ShannaPra. I’m not sure if it is available in stores but I ordered my copy from You will learn a lot in that book about having a Twin in Spirit. I hope this is helpful. Many blessings to you. Take care.


  5. Dear Carolyn,
    I really appreciate your commenting on twin flames in Spirit as I have a loved one that has passed and mainly through experience have come to believe he is my twin flame or what is also called the divine compliment. He was my husband in life till a little more than three years ago. So many things have happened in dreams and daily life to convince me this spiritual connection is true.
    I found your site while searching for more information on twin flames and wanted to thank you for posting your information and these responses to others. This has helped me to believe that this can be a very real thing.
    If you will be available by your e-mail I can elaborate though mostly wanted to thank you very much for your sharing of what you know.
    Sincerely, Katherine

  6. Don’t mean to undermine anyone, but isn’t it possible that the “deep connection” you feel with an unavailable man you’ve never met could be because its so much safer than the highs and lows of dating in the real world?
    Men tend to be more visual, or sexual while women tend towards more emotional-based attractions, but in the end, isn’t it akin to men who are obsessed with Internet’s easier than dealing with “real people.”
    Just saying.

  7. This is incredible. I wept when I read myself in this article. Myself and my twin flame. I thought for years I was crazy because he was always “right there”. Then after four years he started talking to me in meditation abs we created a beach where we met all the time. One day we did have this weird sort is amazing spiritual sex where our spirits merged. I even had a sort if orgasm. I thought it was wishful thinking on my part for so long. But then I realized I don’t daydream like that and had never done so, nor did it happen all the tine with my twin.

    Thank you.

  8. Hi
    I met my twin soul when I was 16 it was instant and the love between us was enormous, but he was a tortured soul and addicted to drugs we tried to stay together but I couldn’t help him the love between us never faded he passed away Tuesday and I feel so lost the urge to just want to touch him talk to him hold him make love to him is more than I can bare last night when I eventually fell asleep I could feel him and every time I woke up which was frequently throughout the night he was right there in my face..
    I need help to understand how this all works my heart is broken . And I miss him so much

    • Oh Sarah. I am so so sorry for your loss. I know to well the agonizing pain of losing the One. It’s been 6 months and I’m still in a type of denial and so.much pain.
      However, the fact that you can feel him right there and know he’s with you is incredible. I’ve been told as my love is here, but my grief is overshadowing his energy. I can’t tell you how special it is that you still feel that connection and really feel him there with you.
      Bless your heart, I’m so sorry that anyone has to go through this beyond awful pain in their lives. It’s so hard…
      Get counseling, get to a grief support group, do whatever you can to survive. It’s easy for the craziness of grief to consume you.
      How beautiful though that you know he’s right there with you…
      I’m sure that you’ll get a warm response of a message of Love from your twin through this blog.
      Praying for your broken.heart & for your healing in love…

    • Sarah,
      It’s impossible what you’re about to go through…. Ms. Chipman will have beautiful words of solace and comfort for you, but the hole in your heart will still be there.
      Please feel free to contact me, I am still very familiar with all the many feelings and deep loss of self that comes from losing Him to the other side…
      You are just beginning this awful journey and it will take you places where you never thought you’d be. I’ll be here anytime you need a gage of what’s normal to be going through, because it makes you crazy to have Love withdrawals.
      I know everything you’re going through and the sever pain, when it seems like noone can understand.
      Please stay strong… It’s crushing to say the least. After all is settled I will still be here as a supporter to you as someone still in shock and coping with my loss of Him…
      Sending you so.much love and strength.
      Please remember I’m here when the days and nights blend together and you can’t tell what sanity is any longer… You’re not alone. I am so heartbroken for your pain and loss.
      Big hugs and lots of love.

  9. Warmest wishes to everyone

    I feel that I have met my twin flame…I only heard of these last night…but I knew something weird had been happening to me.
    I met a singer back in 1984. ..instantly smitten I got his autograph…and that was that, he moved abroad and never really heard much about him. Every now and then, I’d google him, but nothing. ..until this year!! He was on fb, so I sent a very short message and he replied, my heart nearly jumped out my chest!! We then began talking, he gave me his number, wenow talk or text everyday, we often send texts at the same time.
    he is overcoming a heroin addiction and for some bizarre reason I am helping him regardless of others advice…I feel when he’s upset and I know when something is wrong! He says he loves that I care, and he knows me intuitively…he doesn’t know why he tells me things ( everything he has never disclosed to a living soul), but says it has been effortless to connect with me. He says it’s weird not hearing from me if I don’t text.
    We have met, we are very alike, we look in shops and always point the same stuff out…always!! We text at the same time, think alike also…I feel full of warmth when he hugs me goodbye and I feel that I never leave him, I have told them I am here for him always…and I mean it…I feel consumed. Although, I live with someone, I have been celibate for 12 years. ‘twin’ is also celibate and has been fir 20 plus years.
    I have tried to distance myself on several occasions, but it doesn’t work, I suffer too much. We are meeting up again this week, as he is planning a day out for us…
    I am confused but happy to go along with things…any advice. …he is also exactly 4 years and 7 days older than me. ..

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